you would pick up someone in the library
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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