He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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