just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
