How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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