we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
