I'm drive I can fine osifer
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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