awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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