if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
