do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
