Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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