We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize