What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
