i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
