i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize