oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
