Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
