I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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