we're blogging at a bar
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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