why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
