That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
