bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
