He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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