So drunk, too bad you don't want this
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
