i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
