Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
