My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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