the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
