On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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