I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
