i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
