At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
