Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Less talking, more tequila
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize