guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
