so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
