He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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