I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
