Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
