my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
