I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
