his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
