I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
