Kiss
Puke
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
