you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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