420 ftw
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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