i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
