you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
