it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
