dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
