Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
