I skipped work to stalk him.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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