he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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