At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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