How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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