im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
zippers are such a cool invention
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
