just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
