Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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