Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
