Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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