i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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