haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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