O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
