Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
