Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
