Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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