Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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