I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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