So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
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