Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
