If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
