i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
