This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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