Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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