so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So many bounce houses so little time
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
