In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
